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Old January 21st, 2010
birdy's Avatar
Airhead
 
Join Date: October 18th, 2004
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 889
birdy has a distinguished reputationbirdy has a distinguished reputation
Default Australian bush etiquette

IN GENERAL
1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
3. It's tacky to take an Esky to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your Ute and trailer to the funeral.




DINING OUT
1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.




ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.




PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN Ute keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no. It alters the taste of finger foods, and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewellery.



DAT1NG
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff about you on the dunny door two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 11pm, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. [/FONT]



THEATRE/CINEMA ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.




WEDDINGS
1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your popularity.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a c
µmmerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.




DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight
2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn't always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

Last edited by birdy; January 21st, 2010 at 01:28 AM. Reason: trying to beat the censor lol
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Old January 21st, 2010
Blackhorse 70V's Avatar
Valued Member
 
Join Date: January 31st, 2008
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 763
Blackhorse 70V is a great assister to others; your light through the dark tunnel
Default

Translation, please.

What's a stubby? Apparently, they can be open or closed.
What's an Esky?

Thank you and g'day, mate.
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Old January 21st, 2010
Lord of the Rings's Avatar
ContraBanned
 
Join Date: June 30th, 2004
Location: Middle of the ocean apparently (middle earth)
Posts: 619
Lord of the Rings has a distinguished reputationLord of the Rings has a distinguished reputationLord of the Rings has a distinguished reputation
Default

Definitions: Roo = Kangaroo. .. Esky = portable cooler box for food & drink … Stubby = small 375 ml bottle of beer. … dunny= toilet. … Ute = 2 seater utility vehicle
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Old January 23rd, 2010
Gnutella Forum Troll's Avatar
Cat power
 
Join Date: September 6th, 2005
Location: On the prowl next door
Posts: 52
Gnutella Forum Troll is flying high
Default

Roo Bar = Pedestrian basher ! lol (ie: bar(s) at front of car in front of radiator/bumper bar.)
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