LW has a mind of it's own
 

No matter what I do I cannot stop LW5 from loading whenever it wants to. What the heck? I've lowered my bandwidth to UL and DWL. I've removed it from my startup programs. Still heeeeeeeere's LW5:bangh::bangh::bangh::bangh:

Is LW opening just once, after you start up your computer? Or is it continually popping up & refusing to stay closed?

If LW opens just once at system startup.
If you're using LW 4... tools > options > advanced > system startup. Untick 'run on system startup' > Apply > ok.

If you're using LW 5... tools > options > advanced > system. Untick 'Run LW on System Startup' > ok.

If LW's continually popping up by itself, your computer might be infected. Click on this link for more help: Bloody Thing (error message pops up after LW removed)
:)

It pops up once everytime I restart or awake from sleep mode. All boxes you described are unchecked. Yet it still does it. My AV is up to date also.:bangh:

Go into your LW options & this time, tick the box to run on system startup. Make sure to click ok or apply > ok (depending which version of LW you have). Close LW. Restart LW & go back into options & untick that box again > ok. Or apply > ok.
Sometimes, turning an option on & off can make it work properly.

If things are still stuffed then delete LW's preferences folder when LW's properly closed. See point 3 here & also point 2 if you've used older versions of LW in the past (there could be a folder in either location).
LimeWire Pref Folder in Vista
This will change all of your settings within options, you'll have to go back through afterwards & reset things. If you're not sure of your settings, go through LW's tools > options & write them all down, so that you can reset things later.