Most likely due to a firewall issue. Both of you check the first option 'Check Your Firewall' at top of this page: http://www.gnutellaforums.com/connec...t-connect.html 3rd paragraph in that first quote box.

His name is greyed out right, or just non-browsable?

(BTW I know you probably wish to retain anonymity, however using the bugmenot account will make it incredibly slow for you on this forum. That account has been abused too many times by the wrong type of people being problematic so we have limited its abilities. Setting up a fresh account will get you back to normal. Your personal details are kept private.)