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-   -   Internet Forums 101 - A Real World Guide - Fun (https://www.gnutellaforums.com/tips-tricks/28424-internet-forums-101-real-world-guide-fun.html)

ursula September 23rd, 2004 09:59 AM

Internet Forums 101 - A Real World Guide
 
I cannot take credit for this - found it in another forum somewhere - but I had to share it. It sounds so familiar for some odd reason...

And, I cannot take credit either because I have simply stolen this entire post
from the one and only Threadmaster, Legendary Administrator @ BearShare Forums !


==========
How many Internet Forum Posters (pick a forum... any forum...) does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

53 to flame the spell checkers.

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.

6 to argue over whether it's lightbulb or light bulb

6 to condemn those 6 as ******retentive.

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is lamp

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that light bulb is perfectly correct

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

40 posters who don't believe in light bulbs at all and instead post links to pseudo-scientific sites that claim alternate theories of light production.

12 to point out that there is no right to light in the US Constitution.

4 to post that all the tech support for changing light bulbs is being outsourced to India.

1 post showing a picture of a light bulb and a picture of someone who resembles a light bulb.

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

1 poster that has converted all his light bulbs to florescents, so he very rarely has to change them.

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a FAQ

13 to tell you candles should be in all well-prepared households in the event of a lightbulb burnout.

5 postings that say they do not use light bulbs...only candles.

1 to mention the lite bulb is made of low-fat cheese.

4 to say didn't we go through this already a short time ago?

143 to say do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

So, now you know...

ursula September 30th, 2004 09:50 AM

My stars and garters, old girl !!!

That is a real knee-slapper...

Except for the minor details regarding anyone running the most minor level of security on the internet as they will not be able to view the site UNLESS they disable the same said minimum levels of security...

You know sumtin' diffrunt ?


btw, was it your turn last time to feed and walk Morgwen or was it mine ?

He seems to be biting the neighbourhood kids again !







:p

stief September 30th, 2004 12:36 PM

http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/flame01.html

stief October 1st, 2004 10:54 AM

It's fun to add a graphic from that link to one of the lines from your post. e.g, for starters:

"27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs"

http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/flame31.html

ursula October 13th, 2004 09:39 AM

Grammer... uh, gramur... umm, 2 grammes, please !
 
GRAMMAR, n.
A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.

Ambrose Bierce

The Devil's Dictionary


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