thanks for the all the info and help Birdy but...
I reinstalled 4.12.15 but kept Java at 1.5.0_12

so far so good on the Java front

I went back to 4.12 because Zone Alarm firewall worked just fine but when I went to 4.14 that's when things went horribly wrong

that port forwarding thing with the modem looks a little tricky--could I do it--probably, and probably screw something else up
I didn't have to do it on 4.12 so I don't understand why this becomes a major issue on 4.14

Again thanks for time/help
T