What am i doing wrong... connection issues

Hi. I've tried to connect to the gnutella and other p2p networks using a multitude of clients including ares, limewire, and shareaza but to no avail. The few times that I could connect, and get a list of files, would result in the file 'pending' download whenever i select it (and I am selecting files that have high connection and speed status and a large host count.

I am no IT admin, but I believe that I have setup the firewall on the router that I use correctly for each program.

For example, for shareaza, I configured the program to use port 6346 (the default), and setup my firewall to accept outgoing ports with destination port 6346 for TCP and UDP and incoming ports with source 6346 (i've tried all combination of incoming/outgoing & source/destination) (for TCP and UDP as well). Remarcibly I can connect with shareaza but cant download anything. And if I test my shareaza connection at http://home.no.net/tgrumpy/ct/dex.php
it says TCP: The TCP connection has been refused, the port is closed. and UDP: No answer has been received from your client.

I am at a loss at this point. I have no idea what I should do. If I set up my router wrong or if you have any ideas please tell me.

(I disabled windows firewall btw)

Thanks alot