If you want to connect to one person, you can use the Direct Connect feature. For this to work, both you & your friend should have chat enabled (tools > options > chat) & should not see the firewall icon (brick wall in front of the blue globe). There's more info in the link below.
http://www.gnutellaforums.com/139263-post3.html

If you are firewalled & need help with that, please give us your details.
System details - help us to help you (click here)

This should help with your question about uploading.
How to share folders

You usually can't find your own files in a search